Getting the Girlfriend You Want

Here are some ideas for how to GET a great girlfriend:

1) Realize that attractive, intelligent, amazing women are IN DEMAND. They are RARE (I believe that a man who has his life together and understands women and attraction is FAR RARER, but that's a different conversation).

2) Because these women are rare and in demand, they usually have a lot of EXPERIENCE with men. And guess what? MEN ARE VERY PREDICTABLE. Men usually ask women out in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways... and they usually act one of a few PREDICTABLE ways on dates... and they usually respond in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways after the date... etc.

3) When it comes to the unusually attractive, desirable women, they have usually had a LOT of men who have "fallen" for them "too quickly". In other words, when they meet a guy who falls for them quickly, they RECOGNIZE it instantly, and RESPOND to it by RUNNING away.

4) If you want to get one of these desirable women to consider a RELATIONSHIP with you, you need to NOT act like one of the other 100 boring guys she's gone out with.

5) It is VITALLY important that you learn everything you can about women and dating before you go looking for a long-term relationship with a fantastic woman. The point is that you have to KEEP WORKING on it. Don't just learn a few things and think "OK, I've got it".

6) You must give an unusually attractive woman SPACE. You can't call her every day, tell her that you're in love with her two days after you've met her, chase her around, always ask what she's doing, etc. You must give this special woman THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.

7) When you're in her presence, you must not treat her like you desperately want and need her approval. There's a way to do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING. Whatever you do, don't try to "impress" her, act apologetic for anything about yourself, or otherwise you will give away your personal POWER.

8) If you have a life, stay with it. If you don't have a life, get one. Don't sit around wondering what she's doing, calling her, telling her how you "feel", etc. If she wanted another "girlfriend", she'd get one. So don't act like one. Desirable women want men who are INDEPENDENT, and who give them SPACE. In fact, if anything, you need to give a woman like this TOO MUCH space. You want HER to be the one who is calling YOU to figure out what you're up to.

9) If you sense that this woman is "testing" you by being difficult, trying to change plans with her on short notice all the time, etc. then RELAX. Lean back. Never let her "get away" with anything just because she's beautiful, or let her have any "special privileges" because you like her. NEVER.

10) If you want a long-term relationship, let it DEVELOP over time. I personally don't think it's a good idea to even CONSIDER having a relationship with a woman until you have known her for a MINIMUM of 90 days. MINIMUM! If you take this mindset, it will FORCE you to chill out and let things develop over time, instead of trying to "force" them. You'll be VERY different from the other guys she's dated, and you'll find that SHE starts letting the "I have special feelings for you" talk slip out.

I'm suggesting a way of thinking, behaving, and communicating that is VERY different from the way most men think, behave, and communicate.

It is "counter intuitive"... it doesn't really seem to make sense at first. And it is NOT what your FEELINGS will tell you to do if you're not experienced with women.

Just remember, the lasting impression is the only impression and everything will take its course from there.

Finding the Right Girl to Date

The REASON most guys learn to be more successful with women and dating is to find a GREAT one... not just so they can date a million women. Sure, some guys just want to date a lot of women, and aren't "relationship" material.

But I believe that probably 90% of guys who study this area of life do so because they want to have OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating... and they want to be able to meet and date more intelligent, attractive, and interesting women... but ULTIMATELY I think that most guys would like to meet a really nice, attractive woman to share a great relationship with.

And what happens when you learn how to meet women in any situation and you start dating more women? Your standards go UP. Instead of just "settling" for any woman that will go out with you, you start wanting THE BEST and you will work harder to make sure you get the best.

When a guy who hasn't been particularly good with women, gets his first date with an AMAZING and wonderful woman, it will often shake him up... and he'll "forget" everything he's learned and end up doing what hasn't worked for him in the past.

When the stakes go up in life, we humans get nervous.

And this nervousness often hurts us by "blanking" our minds, and makes us SCREW UP... instead of HELPING us by calming us and causing us to remember what we SHOULD be doing.

So how does this translate when it comes to guys dating unusually attractive women for the first time? I think the process goes a little something like this:

1) Become frustrated because he's not having success with women and dating. Decides to do something about it.

2) Starts learning techniques and ideas to improve success. Begins to improve, and realizes that it is possible to have more success with women. Feels excited as results improve.

3) Wakes up one day and realizes that the types of women that were previously "untouchable" are, in fact, within reach. Decides to do something about it.

4) Gets a date with a woman that was previously "out of his league". Instantly becomes aware that this is a VERY important situation. Becomes nervous.

5) Goes out on the date, and acts like a Wuss Bag. Because he knows the MAJOR mistakes to avoid, and the important things to do, still does "OK"... to the point where the woman has a good time, enjoys herself, etc.

6) Goes home and says to self "Self, you'd better not screw this one up. Call her and ask her out again. This girl is RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. It's OK to call her a lot and act like a Wuss, because she's different. Part of this step is thinking about the girl all the time, and secretly wondering if she's OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY.

7) Proceeds to call and get Date #2 (for the very next night, of course).

8) On Date #2 (or Date #3) says to the girl "You're special. I have FEELINGS for you." (Or something equally emotional, needy, clingy, or Wuss-like.)

9) Calls the amazing girl every day... to the point where she stops returning his calls and starts actively avoiding his calls. Girl finally says something like "I think I need some time ALONE right now in life" or "It's not YOU, it's ME" or "You're such a great guy, and I really like you a lot... but I'm just not ready for a RELATIONSHIP right now", etc.

10) Spends the next couple days letting his mind get the best of him with thoughts like "This girl is amazing and I want her to be my girlfriend, but I acted like a Wuss, and now she only likes me as a friend. What can I do to get her back?"

So there are two pieces to this puzzle:

1) How to get a girlfriend.
2) How to not screw it up when you get one.

In the next 2 articles we will speak more on these pieces of the puzzle. 

The Dating State of MInd

How many times have you felt that you would scare a woman away when you try to "make a move"?

More often than I will admit, I'm sure.

There is this “state of mind” that women have a sexual interest in you.

This makes things painful when dating, right?

If you're a guy who does not have a strong personality, sexually, then make your move on a woman is not even an option in your game plan.

And you can play games for a smiley happy with a woman you want with the hope that it will take your hand and lead you to where you would like things to go.

Then reality kicks in.

One possibility is the lack of dating experience. And this lack of experience supplements your lack of confidence with women.

In reality it is really just your mind defeating yourself whenever you are interested in a woman and it doesn’t get anywhere.

Let's change that and stop believing you’re hopeless. From this point on let’s start believing that you're actually just a "slow starter" with women instead.

Don’t count yourself out before the referee has called the match. If your mind believes it has lost before the battle has even started lowers your chances. Even worse, it may be written all over your attitude and your face. Half the battle is believing in yourself, why wouldn’t someone like you? That’s not to say you should be cocky and arrogant, but believing in yourself can go a long way. Some women actually find confidence a turn on.

In conclusion, having confidence goes a long way, and can determine the fate from beginning-to-end of this experience. 

Dating again after a recent break up?

Breaking up at the end of a relationship, no matter how long, is not easy. We are constantly meeting new people in our everyday lives but how many do we stop and approach? Both in my own personal experience, as well as dating advice I recieved years ago, the biggest obstacle in preparing for a date is gaining the confidece you are a likeable person. The firt thing to do is think about what makes you the person she has been looking for. I'm not talking about any specific trait or attribute, but what is it that makes you the guy you are. Establishing yourself as a man on his own (without being cocky or over confident) can be an important part of the whole process that keeps your date interested. As well, avoid talking about your most recent relationship unless the other person brings it up. Nothing says "I'm not over my ex" more then someone who relates every event back to their past relationship. She wants to know your interested in her and that the past is the past. These two area's are just a few pointers that can help your date go well even if you recently stepped out of a relationship.

So how do you that its not to soon? make sure you back up and ready to start dating again and that your comfortable with the fact that this time should be different from your last and your ok with that. If your still caught up on your previous relationship it won't be fair to you or the new person thats interested in building a valuable relationship

The First Date

The first date is truly one of the greatest events in life for someone seeking love.  Are you looking for the guy/girl, you wish spend the rest of your life with and are flooded with a lot of ideas, such as what you want in a man/woman? But no matter what you have on your mind, going on a first date should be no high pressure situation, and there are a few very simple things you should follow. Below are 10 first date tips that can help you ensure that first date is not the last date.  These tips are  intended to assist you and can be adapted to meet your specific situation. (1) First of all ensure that you do something you both enjoy doing.  Doing something you both enjoy allows you to create a base around the date which will supplement the remainder of the tips below you put the well so you can focus on the rest of the datingtips below. (2) make sure whatever you do, it is not as intense, as this can completeley eliminate the conversation and the entire point of getting to know eachother. (3) Have a good plan. Don't leave date plans until the beggining of the date, you can be flexible around your plans to accomodate your date but have an idea of how the time spent together should go. (4) Use your compliments in moderation, nothing says "I'm trying too hard" then flooding your date with constant compliments. Use these in moderations and wisely to let the other know your interested in looking forward pass this first date. (5) A sense of humor is so very important in every respect. Lets be honest, everyone enjoys a good laugh especially when trying to feel comfortable around a stranger. See if you get it to crack a smile or laugh with your favorite jokes or even a situation you found yourself in. (6) Do your best to be yourself and most important don't lie! People sometimes try too hard to impress others when they don't know much about the other person. If you bend the truth this can backfire at a later date. (7) Unless there is a mutual agreement you should not end the date early  But things can go really bad. If you can't take it anymore have a friend help you as a way out. But most of all don't lose sleep over the failed date. Understand that this is not your last date and things will probably be much better on your next date! (8) Take things slow down on the first day.  There is no reason to put pressure on the guy/girl which most times makes them feel uncomfortable.  You don't need to talk about subjects such as religion and politics for the first time, including the depth. Keep an open mind about this and have some fun! (9) If the date is not ehat your looking for this doesn't mean a positive friendship will not build from this. Some people make better friends then lovers and this might be the case with this specific individual. There is no reason, you still have a good time. (10) If this person is someone you met, on a blind date o through the Internet be very careful.  The best plan is to meet somewere were there is a lot of people. The most important thing about dating is to simply have fun and enjoy yourself !!! Dating should be a positive experience that allows you to meet a number of different people from different paths in life.